Whether you face desires you can't control, or life's circumstances that way on your soul.
Or maybe it's the voice in your head that won't let you sleep at night pinpointing every wrong you've ever committed.
How about the other side...where so many look to you for guidance or reprieve, everyday someone seems to be in distress. Or people's gazing eyes fixed on you, holding you to such esteem that you fear the day when you disappoint them when your blatant imperfections are exposed.
Regardless of where you land in any of these examples, I believe there is but one solution. Oddly enough it isn't trying to make peace with what you wrestle with. I think it's making peace with the fact that you will wrestle with it, quite possiblyyour whole life. However, you will not wrestle with it alone.
Remember, Christ said, 'take up your cross and follow me.'
We all have crosses to bear in one form or another and the comfort is in not having to carry it alone.
Then the question is, why carry it at all?
We carry it not because we like it, but because we have the full acceptance of The Father when we succeed and when we fail.
We carry it because as our backs tire and our feet drag at the end of the day...there is rest in the presence of His grace.
We carry it because in 100 short years from now we will be exalted as sons and daughters of The King who have full access to all the kingdom and all the lands.
Because...what can a man do in exchange for his own soul he cannot save?
Heavy. Very heavy.
So we carry it.
And we bear it...
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” - Matthew 16:24-26